Vishal Arya is literally dangling from the open cargo door of a moving private jet while explosions are going off inside the cabin and I am just sitting here wondering how on earth his hair still looks so decent despite facing hurricane-force winds at thirty thousand feet.

Let us back up a little bit because Flight actually starts with a bunch of corporate backstabbing and shady boardroom deals that honestly feel like they were written by an intern who watched too many tech thrillers on Netflix.

Ranveer Malhotra, played by Vishal Arya, is this super arrogant billionaire aviation tycoon who built a massive airline empire, but then his greedy board members decide he is too much of a liability and they literally engineer a plane crash to get rid of him.

Look, the movie doesn't waste any time getting to the actual plane part, so soon Ranveer is boarding a private aircraft called the APX 3, completely unaware that the entire flight has been rigged with gas and remote-controlled sabotage by his treacherous colleagues.

And then boom, the cabin fills with toxic sleep gas, he passes out cold, and wakes up later to find out that every single crew member and pilot is already dead.

Before we even get to the real panic, the film forces us to sit through this random, heavily autotuned romantic flashback song with Babita Ashiwal playing his love interest, and it is honestly so bizarrely placed right after he discovers a corpse that I actually spilled my iced coffee all over my keyboard.

Like, people are literally dying and the editing just cuts to them smiling on a beach in designer resort wear.

Get past that weird musical detour and the tension shoots right back up because Ranveer realizes he is locked inside a flying tin can with zero flight experience and a computer system that is actively locking him out of the cockpit controls.

He has to talk to his terrified ground team through a glitchy video call, and Shibani Bedi pops up on screen playing this sharp, fast-talking tech expert who is shouting instructions at him while hacking firewalls to keep the plane from nose-diving into the ocean.

God, the dialogue in these command center scenes is so loud and frantic that you can barely hear the actors over the stock sound effects of clicking keyboards and blaring alarms.

Stuff happens really fast after that, like a bomb literally goes off in the cargo hold, oxygen masks drop, smoke fills the cabin, and Ranveer has to crawl through narrow ventilation ducts while dodging falling luggage and live electrical wires just to reach the cockpit.

That brings us right up to the messy interval point where the screen just cuts to black while Ranveer is screaming in slow motion because the wing of the aircraft is literally on fire and hackers have completely overridden the autopilot.

Honestly, out of all the recent action-heavy hindi movies hitting theaters, this one tries so hard to pull off that Hollywood-style survival thriller vibe, but it stays firmly rooted in typical bollywood melodrama with its over-the-top emotional flashbacks and dramatic tear-filled close-ups.

After the break, the second half becomes an absolute fever dream of impossible physics where Ranveer somehow straps a parachute on, climbs outside onto the fuselage, hacks a drone mid-air, and literally jumps between two moving aircraft because why not.

The villains are watching all of this on a massive screen in their evil boardroom drinking scotch and looking increasingly stressed out as their multi-million dollar assassination plot completely falls apart because one billionaire refused to stay dead.

There is this one background extra sitting in the control room wearing the ugliest, brightest neon green sweater you have ever seen in your life, and I swear he spends at least twenty minutes of screen time just staring blankly at a monitor that is not even turned on.

Anyway, Ranveer manages to survive a fiery explosion, outsmart a hitman who somehow snuck onto the plane with him, and manually override the landing gear using sheer brute force and a screwdriver.

By the time the final confrontation happens, the corrupted plane is barreling straight toward a busy runway with sparks flying everywhere.

Ranveer pulls the emergency brake just in time, kicks open the jammed cabin door, stumbles out onto the tarmac with a bloody face, and collapses on the ground right as police sirens start wailing in the distance.